Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway
Susan Jeffers
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway is Susan Jeffers's 1987 book on acting while afraid. Its truths: fear never goes away as long as you keep growing, the only way to get rid of the fear of something is to do it, everyone feels it, and pushing through is less frightening than living with helplessness. Its tools are the sentence 'whatever happens, I can handle it', one small risk a day to expand the comfort zone, and the no-lose decision.
You are waiting for the fear to pass before you act. Jeffers spent a career telling people it will not, and that this is good news, because it means the fear is not a sign you are doing something wrong.
The book in essence
Jeffers, a psychologist who taught workshops on fear for years, built the book on a short list of things she found to be true. The fear will never go away as long as you continue to grow, because every new thing is new. The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and do it. The only way to feel better about yourself is the same. Everyone else is afraid too, including the people who look as if they are not. And pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from helplessness. That last truth is her argument's centre: you are choosing between two fears, not between fear and comfort, and the loud, bounded fear of doing the thing is cheaper than the quiet, permanent fear of a life organised around avoidance. Her tools are simple and durable. 'Whatever happens, I can handle it' dissolves the dread, because the dread is not of the outcome but of not being able to handle it. One risk a day, small and recorded, moves the edge of the comfort zone. And the no-lose decision reframes any choice so that both paths lead to learning, which makes choosing possible.
The book has been in print continuously since 1987, translated into dozens of languages including Turkish, and is one of the most widely read books on fear ever published; its title became a phrase.
Who it's for
- Anyone waiting for the fear to pass before they act
- People paralysed at decisions because one path might be wrong
- Readers who want a small daily practice rather than a theory
Who it's not for
- — Readers put off by 1980s self-help language; the tools survive the register, but the register is there
- — Anyone looking for the research; Jeffers reports what worked in her workshops, and the science came later from others
Key lessons
01
The fear will not go away
As long as you keep growing, every new thing brings fear, and there is no preparation that removes it in advance. The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to do it. People who look confident have practised acting with fear until it became background noise.
A pharmacist in Bursa has avoided asking her landlord to fix the shop's heating for two winters. She writes the worst realistic outcome and what she would do the day after, and calls him that afternoon.
02
You are choosing between two fears
The fear of the interview or the conversation is loud but bounded; it ends when the thing ends. The fear that comes from never doing the thing is quiet and permanent, and it erodes a person. The loud one is cheaper.
An engineer in Izmir realises his two years of avoiding presentations have produced a steady low dread that the presentation itself never would. He asks for the March presentation.
03
One risk a day
The comfort zone's edge moves in the direction you push it a little every day and shrinks where you do not. Choose tomorrow's risk tonight, small enough to be certain and large enough to flutter, and record it. Reframe the avoided decision as no-lose: both paths lead to learning.
The engineer sets a risk a day for two weeks, from a question in stand-up to a message to a speaker he admired, and reframes the presentation as no-lose: a new skill if it goes well, the year's best feedback if it does not.
Try this today
Write the thing you are avoiding, the worst realistic outcome, and what you would do the day after it, then do the smallest version of the thing this week with the fear present.
Quick check
What does Jeffers say happens to fear as you grow?
What is a no-lose decision?
Selected quotes
“The fear will never go away as long as I continue to grow.”
“Whatever happens to me, given any situation, I can handle it.”