Concept
Embrace the Ordinary
Embracing the ordinary means accepting that you are not a special case, neither exceptionally gifted nor exceptionally wronged, so that you stop excusing yourself from the slow, unglamorous work that real improvement requires.
Mark Manson argues that entitlement doesn't only look like arrogance. It has two faces. One says, "I'm above this, and the rules are for other people." The other says, "Nobody has suffered like me, so normal expectations don't apply." One feels inflated and the other feels crushed, but both run on the same fuel: the belief that you are a special case. Both put you at the centre, and both excuse you from the dull work everyone else has to do. When your feed shows everyone else's best moments, being average can feel like failure. Accepting that you're ordinary is not giving up. It's a relief. Your problems aren't unique, other people have solved problems like them, and the way forward is the same plain practice. You will be average at most things. Admitting that frees your attention for the few things you actually care about.
A real-life example
A junior designer gets her portfolio rejected by two studios. First she thinks, "They don't get my vision." A week later she thinks, "It's uniquely unfair. I had no connections." Both stories keep her from doing what every hired designer did: ask for specific feedback, rebuild three case studies and apply again. Then she tells herself, "I'm a normal designer with a fixable portfolio." After that, the next step is obvious and small.
How to use it
- 1Catch the 'special case' sentence. When you think 'this doesn't apply to me' or 'nobody has it as bad as I do,' write it down and label which face it is: inflated or crushed.
- 2Ask, 'What would an ordinary person in my position have to do?' Then do the first dull step today.
- 3Find one story of someone who had your exact problem and solved it. Use it as your map.