Concept
Goodwill Practice
Goodwill practice is the set of inner exercises Olivia Fox Cabane uses to produce real warmth, such as gratitude, wishing the other person well and compassion for their situation, on the grounds that warmth cannot be faked for long because the face shows what you actually feel.
A warm smile that is not felt tends to stop at the mouth, and people notice the eyes. So Cabane does not teach warm gestures; she teaches ways to feel warmth on purpose. Gratitude is the simplest: noticing, before a meeting, a few things that are going well tends to soften the face. Goodwill goes further: you look at the other person and silently wish them well, or imagine them as a child, or picture the good parts of their life, especially when you find them difficult. Compassion asks you to imagine what led them to behave as they do. These are not about approving of everyone. They change your state enough that the warmth people read in you is real. Cabane adds that warmth toward others is hard while you are harsh with yourself, because self-criticism shows on the face too, so self-compassion comes first. The exercises take seconds once practised and can be done in the middle of a conversation.
A real-life example
Ahmet, a site engineer in Kocaeli, dreads weekly meetings with a contractor who blames his team for every delay. Before the next one he spends a minute picturing the contractor's situation: an anxious client, thin margins, a crew he barely controls, and silently wishes him a good week. The meeting is still hard, but Ahmet's voice stays even, and the contractor, for the first time, proposes a fix.
How to use it
- 1Before a meeting, name three things that are going well today.
- 2Look at the person you find difficult and silently wish them well, or picture what may be pressing on them.
- 3Notice any harsh voice toward yourself and answer it as you would answer a friend.