Concept
Letting someone go
Letting someone go begins long before the exit: when someone is not working out, the kind response is a clear, early, written conversation about what must change by when and how you will help, and if nothing changes, a prompt and respectful departure rather than a slow one.
It is the conversation every new manager delays, and the delay is the ruinous-empathy instinct at its most expensive. Another quarter of hope costs the person months in a role where they are failing, costs the team who cover for them and notice the manager doing nothing, and makes the eventual conversation harder because it is now late and surprising. The sequence is early and clear. First the direct conversation: this is what is not working, this is what would have to be different by when, and this is how I will help, written down so nobody is surprised later. Then real help for a fixed period with honest check-ins. And if nothing changes, the exit, handled with the same care as everything else: privately, promptly, with respect for the person's dignity and a clear account of the practical steps. Kim Scott's view is that a firing should never come as a surprise to the person; if the earlier feedback was given, it will not.
A real-life example
A restaurant manager in Izmir has a well-liked waiter whose order mistakes the rest of the floor quietly covers. She sits down with him: the mistakes on the table, what has to change in six weeks, a short check-in after every Friday shift, and a printed menu guide to help. At six weeks nothing has moved. She tells him privately the same day, with his full notice pay and a reference for the parts of the job he did well, and two colleagues later tell her they had been waiting for it.
How to use it
- 1Say it clearly and early, in writing: what is not working, what must change by when, how you will help.
- 2Give real help for a fixed period with honest check-ins.
- 3If it does not change, act promptly and with dignity; the slow exit is the unkind one.