Destigmatise, Neutralise, Rewrite

When anxiety or self-criticism shows up before an important moment, the instinct is to fight it or pretend it is not there. Both make it worse, and both show. Cabane offers a sequence instead. First, destigmatise: remind yourself that this feeling is common, that people you admire have it too, and that having it says nothing bad about you. Much of the pain comes from believing the feeling is a sign something is wrong with you. Second, neutralise: look at the thoughts as passing mental events, not accurate reports. The mind's tendency to dwell on what might go wrong is old and useful in danger, and not a reliable guide to a meeting. Third, rewrite: of the several ways to read the situation, pick one that is just as plausible and more helpful. A cancelled meeting is a rejection, or a client with a crisis. You are not lying to yourself; you are choosing among readings you cannot yet check.