Concept
What would I tell my best friend?
The friend question asks what you would advise your best friend to do in your exact situation. People give better advice than they take, because advice sees core priorities and skips the fear, and the answer usually arrives in seconds.
When you advise yourself you list risks; when you advise a friend you say 'take it, you have wanted this for years' or 'leave, you have been unhappy for two'. The difference is distance. The Heaths use the question as the fastest way to hear your own core priorities without the short-term emotion attached. It pairs with writing those priorities down, three or four things that matter most in this area of life, and checking options against them rather than against the feeling of the week. The question works best said out loud, and the speed of the answer is itself information.
A real-life example
A manager agonising for a week over an offer says out loud what he would tell a friend with the same offer: take it, negotiate a review at six months. The answer takes two seconds, and his week of agonising was fear talking.
How to use it
- 1Say out loud what you would tell your best friend to do, then ask why you are not telling yourself.
- 2Write your three core priorities for this area before looking at the options again.