Concept
Envy Management
Envy management is the practice, drawn from Law 46 of Robert Greene's The 48 Laws of Power and his chapter on envy in The Laws of Human Nature, of avoiding needless displays that provoke envy in others, recognising its disguised signs, and turning your own envy into something useful.
Law 46 warns against appearing too perfect: visible superiority in every area stirs envy, and envy, unlike open rivalry, works quietly. In The Laws of Human Nature, Greene returns to the theme and argues that envy is common, rarely admitted, and often hidden behind praise, friendliness or sudden coolness. The honest reading has three parts. First, reduce needless provocation: admit a flaw, share credit, talk about luck and help as well as effort, and do not advertise every win to people who are struggling. Second, recognise the signs without paranoia: backhanded compliments, small acts of sabotage, a friend who goes quiet after your good news. Third, look at your own envy, which is usually the harder part. Envy points at something you want. Used well, it becomes emulation: study what the other person did, and decide whether you are willing to do the same work. Used badly, it becomes resentment, which harms you more than the person you envy.
A real-life example
After Gökhan, a sales rep in Gaziantep, wins the regional award, a colleague who used to joke with him starts making remarks about 'easy territories'. Gökhan stops posting about his numbers in the team chat, thanks the logistics team publicly for the deliveries that made his quarter, and invites the colleague to a client visit. The remarks fade over the next month.
How to use it
- 1After a success, name the help and luck that contributed, out loud.
- 2When you feel envy, write down exactly what the other person has that you want, and what it would take to earn it.
- 3Notice backhanded compliments, and respond with warmth rather than a counter-remark.