Quote
“Self-esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves.”— Nathaniel Branden, in The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem (1994) · The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem →
Why it was said
Nathaniel Branden, who spent his career on the subject, gives this compressed definition early in The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem and repeats it through the book. It is the reason the pillars are practices rather than beliefs.
What it actually means
A reputation is built from a record, and the record here is what you watched yourself do: whether you kept your word to yourself, faced what you did not want to face, said what you thought. Branden's definition moves self-esteem out of affirmation and into conduct. You cannot decide to think well of yourself; you can act in ways that give you the evidence, and the six pillars, living consciously, self-acceptance, self-responsibility, self-assertiveness, purpose, integrity, are the acts.
How to use it
- 1Keep a short daily record of one thing you did that you respect; the record is the reputation.
- 2When self-esteem is low, check the integrity pillar first: which promise to yourself was broken?