“To trust one's mind and to know that one is worthy of happiness is the essence of self-esteem.”

Why it was said

Nathaniel Branden sets out this sentence near the opening of The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem (1994). It names the two halves of the definition the book develops at length: confidence in your ability to think and cope, and the sense that you deserve to be happy.

What it actually means

Branden separates self-esteem from the things it is often confused with: popularity, praise, achievement or simply feeling good about oneself. Trusting one's mind is about competence, the experience of being able to think, judge and handle what life brings. Knowing one is worthy of happiness is about value, the sense that success and joy are appropriate rather than something to apologise for. Each half can exist without the other, and both are needed. Because the definition rests on how one thinks and acts rather than on what others say, Branden's six pillars are practices: living consciously, self-acceptance, self-responsibility, self-assertiveness, living purposefully and personal integrity. Self-esteem, in this view, is built from daily behaviour, not affirmations.

How to use it

1. 1Write down one decision this week where you trusted your own judgment under pressure, and what happened.
2. 2Notice when you dismiss a success as luck, and name what you actually did to earn it.