Getting to Yes
Roger Fisher & William Ury
Getting to Yes, from the Harvard Negotiation Project, replaced haggling with principled negotiation: separate the people from the problem, focus on interests rather than positions, invent options for mutual gain, and insist on objective criteria. Its most durable tool is BATNA — your Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement — the true source of negotiating power.
Most negotiations run as positional bargaining: two sides state numbers, defend them, concede grudgingly, and either deadlock or split the difference — damaging the relationship either way. Fisher and Ury's 1981 classic diagnosed why that ritual fails and built the alternative every negotiation book since (including Voss's) either builds on or argues with.
The book in essence
The method has four principles. Separate the people from the problem: be soft on humans, hard on the issue, so relationship and substance stop hostage-taking each other. Focus on interests, not positions: a position is what they ask for; the interest is why — two opposing positions can rarely both win, but two underlying interests often can. Invent options before deciding: expand the pie before dividing it. Insist on objective criteria: market data, precedent, standards — so the outcome argues from fairness, not stubbornness.
Beneath the four sits BATNA. Your power in any negotiation is not your budget or title but the quality of your walk-away alternative — and knowing it precisely protects you from both accepting too little and rejecting what you should take. The famous orange story compresses the philosophy: two sisters split an orange in half, when one wanted only the peel for baking and the other only the fruit — positions split; interests would have doubled the value.
Who it's for
- First-time negotiators who want the structural map before the tactics
- Professionals negotiating inside long-term relationships — vendors, partners, colleagues
- Anyone whose instinct under pressure is either to cave or to dig in
Who it's not for
- — Readers facing hard bargainers who won't play principled — Voss's Never Split the Difference covers the emotional terrain this book assumes away
Key lessons
01
Positions are demands; interests are reasons
A position is the stated ask ('15-day payment terms'); the interest is what it protects (predictable cash flow). Opposing positions rarely coexist, but underlying interests often do — which is why the first question in any deadlock is 'why do they want that?' followed by 'why don't they want what I proposed?' Solve at the interest level and positions soften on their own.
A landlord demanded a steep rent increase; the tenant asked why and found the real interest: certainty the flat wouldn't sit empty again. A two-year contract at a modest raise gave the landlord certainty and the tenant a below-market rate — neither position, both interests.
02
Know your BATNA before you sit down
Your Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement is what happens if you walk away — another offer, another supplier, the status quo. It sets your true floor: any deal better than your BATNA is acceptable; none worse ever is. Power in negotiation is mostly BATNA asymmetry, and preparing means improving yours (line up the second offer) while honestly estimating theirs.
An engineer entered a salary talk with a live offer from another company — not to threaten, just to know her floor. The calm that came from a real BATNA changed her posture; she pushed one round further than she ever had, and got it.
03
Insist on objective criteria
When wills clash, move the fight to standards: market rates, comparable sales, industry benchmarks, precedent, expert opinion. 'How did you arrive at that number?' converts a contest of stubbornness into a joint evaluation of fairness. Objective criteria also give both sides a face-saving way to move — nobody 'gave in'; the data decided.
A freelancer quoted a day rate the client called arbitrary. She shared a rate survey for her specialty and seniority, and asked what benchmark the client used. The conversation shifted from 'too expensive' to which band of the survey fit the project — and settled inside it.
Try this today
Before your next negotiation — even a small one — write three lines: their position, your best guess at the interest under it, and your BATNA. Don't sit down without the third line.
Quick check
What's the difference between a position and an interest?
What does your BATNA determine?
Selected quotes
“Be soft on the people, hard on the problem.”
“The reason you negotiate is to produce something better than the results you can obtain without negotiating.”
“Any method of negotiation may be fairly judged by three criteria: it should produce a wise agreement... efficiently... and amicably.”