BookYol

Concept

Calling Attention to Mistakes Indirectly

Calling Attention to Mistakes Indirectly is Dale Carnegie's principle of letting someone see their own error through an example, a question or a gesture, instead of pointing at it, so that they can correct it without being accused.

Direct criticism, even when it is accurate, puts a person on trial, and people on trial defend themselves. Carnegie's alternative, set out among the leadership principles of How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936), is to make the mistake visible without making the person the defendant. His best-known example is the steel executive Charles Schwab, who found some of his men smoking under a “No Smoking” sign. Instead of pointing at the sign, he handed each of them a cigar and said he would appreciate it if they smoked them outside. They knew they had broken the rule, and they respected him for not saying so. Carnegie adds a smaller technique in words. Many people give praise and then turn on the word “but,” which tells the listener the praise was only a lead-in. Joining the two with “and” keeps the praise intact and makes the correction sound like the next step. Indirect does not mean vague. The person must still understand what needs to change; if a hint is missed, the next step is a short, private, direct conversation, never sarcasm in front of others.

A real-life example

In Konya, Yasemin, an editor at a publishing house, receives the first chapter from a new translator, Burak. The dialogue is natural, but the punctuation ignores the house style throughout. Her first draft of the note reads: “The dialogue flows well, but the punctuation is wrong.” She rewrites it: “The dialogue flows well, and if we set the quotation marks as on page 12 of the style guide, the chapter is ready.” She corrects one page herself as an example. Burak returns the whole book in the house style without being asked twice.

How to use it

  1. 1Before you correct someone, look for a way they can see the error themselves: a corrected example, a question, a demonstration.
  2. 2When praise and correction come together, join them with “and,” not “but.”
  3. 3If the indirect signal is missed, speak once, privately and plainly; never fall back on sarcasm or public hints.