Concept
Facts before story
Facts before story is the first move of Crucial Conversations' STATE path: open with the specific, observable things anyone in the room would agree happened, and only then say the conclusion you drew from them, labelled as a conclusion.
The authors describe a path to action that runs in a second: you see and hear something, you tell yourself a story about what it means, the story produces a feeling, the feeling produces what you do. Only the first and last steps are visible, so most hard conversations open at the last one, with a verdict, and explode. 'She missed the deadline twice' is a fact; 'she doesn't respect the team' is a story. Facts are hard to argue with and easy to add to; the other person can supply the fact you were missing, which is often the whole conversation. The story then follows, as a story: 'I have started to wonder whether'.
A real-life example
A team lead's story is 'he is not committed'. Her facts are two early exits from stand-up and a task unmoved since Tuesday. She opens with the facts; he tells her his father is in hospital. The story was wrong, the facts were right, and the conversation becomes about cover for two weeks.
How to use it
- 1Before the conversation, write two lists: what you observed, what you concluded.
- 2Open with the first list only.
- 3Introduce the second as a conclusion you might have wrong.