“My friends tell me that I have a tendency to point out problems without offering solutions, but they never tell me what I should do about it.”

Why it was said

Daniel Gilbert makes this joke at his own expense in Stumbling on Happiness (2006). It doubles as a fair warning: the book explains why people misjudge what will make them happy, and it does not promise a formula for fixing that.

What it actually means

The line works on two levels. As a joke, it turns the complaint back on the complainers, who have also pointed out a problem without a solution. As a statement of method, it tells the reader what kind of book this is. Gilbert, a Harvard psychologist, describes systematic errors in how the mind imagines the future; he is not selling a programme. That restraint is unusual in writing about happiness, and it is part of the book's credibility. The practical value comes from the diagnosis itself. Once you know that imagination fills in details, leaves others out and projects today's feelings onto tomorrow, you can check your forecasts against the actual experience of people who have already been where you are heading.

How to use it

1. 1Before a big decision, write down what you expect to feel, then ask someone who has already made the same choice how it actually felt.
2. 2When advice offers a neat formula for happiness, ask what evidence it rests on.