“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

Why it was said

Viktor Frankl writes this in the second part of Man's Search for Meaning, a short account of logotherapy, the approach to psychotherapy he built around the search for meaning. It comes in his discussion of suffering that cannot be avoided, such as an incurable illness, where he argues that meaning can still be found in the attitude a person takes towards it.

What it actually means

Frankl is careful about the order. Where a situation can be changed, the right response is to change it; he does not recommend accepting avoidable suffering. The line applies only once that door has closed. Then the task moves inward: how to carry what cannot be altered, and what to make of it. For Frankl, who survived the camps, this was not a slogan but the last area of freedom left. In ordinary working life it describes the moment to stop pushing against a fixed constraint and decide how you will meet it.

How to use it

1. 1Divide a problem that is weighing on you into what you can still change and what you cannot, and act on the first list today.
2. 2For one thing you cannot change, write down how you want to respond to it, in a sentence you would be willing to say to someone else.
3. 3Notice when you are still arguing with a decision that is final, and redirect that energy to your next step.