Quote
“The main purpose of speech is to direct listeners' attention to a selected sector of reality.”
— Robert Cialdini, in Pre-Suasion (2016) · Pre-Suasion →
Why it was said
Cialdini draws this conclusion from the research of the social psychologist Gün Semin on what language does, and states it in his own words. He adds that once a speaker has spotlighted a sector of reality, the listener's existing associations with it take over and shape the reaction.
What it actually means
The usual view is that we speak to transmit information. The view Cialdini adopts from Semin is that we speak mostly to point: to direct the listener's attention to one part of a situation rather than another. What follows is done largely by the listener's own associations with whatever has been lit up. This explains why the same facts land differently depending on which comes first, or which is mentioned at all. It also carries a responsibility: choosing where to point is, in part, choosing what the other person will conclude.
How to use it
- 1Before an important conversation, decide which single aspect of the situation you want the other person to look at first.
- 2In your next message, check whether the opening line points at the problem you want solved or at a side issue.
- 3When someone frames a choice for you, ask what part of reality they have left out of the spotlight.