Quote
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”— Dale Carnegie, in How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936) · How to Win Friends and Influence People →
Why it was said
Dale Carnegie wrote this in 1936 in the chapter on genuine interest, the first of his six ways to make people like you. It is built on the observation that people can tell whether you are interested in them or in your turn.
What it actually means
The instinct in a new room is to present yourself well, and Carnegie's arithmetic says the instinct is backwards by a factor of twelve. Interest in another person is felt immediately and remembered; self-presentation is tolerated and forgotten. The sentence is not a trick, and Carnegie says the interest cannot be faked for long; it is a redirection of attention that most people never try.
How to use it
- 1In your next conversation, ask three questions about the other person before saying anything about yourself.
- 2Notice when you are composing your next line while they speak, and set it down.